Invisible Scar - The Billion Dollar Gift
By: Melissa A. Montero
The ultimate freedom of expression is a blank canvas, it allows you to capture whatever emotions your imagination gives it.
”Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right.' Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” George Herbert
I’m grateful for every single set of eyes that may lay upon this, so thank you in advance with all my heart. My name is Melissa Montero and I HAVE an Invisible Scar just like so many of you. Most of us have a few, but the one I’m about to share, runs deep. It was endured by being in a toxic, to say the least, relationship with a dark and dangerous man. The Invisible Scar left such a mark that I felt the strong urge to form a company over it, to help women who have suffered a traumatic life event in a romantic relationship as well. My gaping wound is on its way to a full healing, but I still have daily pulls at my heartstrings (CASSIOPEIA). If I can prevent 1 woman from going through what I did, we’ve won! As awful as the relationship was, without the traumatic event, I never would have come to love myself or even know what that means. And believe me - it’s not a spa day! Who knew a Morally and Spiritually bankrupt tech Billionaire, still attempting to torture me today by holding my 6 pound dog Cassiopea captive, could end up being my greatest teacher. To this day he has not honored a single legal binding promise and holds my precious Cassiopea to hurt me. My heart breaks daily being away from her! What keeps me going is the belief that there is such a thing as Karma. In the Spiritual World - I have Won. In his Materialistic World - I have Won too. His money could not buy me. There are lyrics from a song that says - “My name is LOVE, I can’t be bought…” This is the warrior path I suppose? You win some, you lose some!
A Journey To Self Love:
I formed this philanthropic organization called Invisible Scar, LLC for many reasons. My favorite one being -- to let women know that if I can come out the other side of a nightmare, you can too! I want other women to know it is possible and you can heal anything from a minor break up to leaving a predator with the clothes on your back after enduring years of psychological and physical abuse. This ‘profound’ romantic relationship that caused the scar, wasn’t romantic at all, yet the biggest lesson of my life. Love does NOT consist of lies, manipulations, abuse and torture lovely ladies. Relationships take work, but I was someone’s property, no longer a person towards the end. I was imprisoned behind 2 guard gates in Newport Coast, California. A dear girlfriend use to call my runaways the “Escapes from Alcatraz!” She and her son would pick me up outside one of the guard gates after I jumped a wall to then fall several feet down to my landing. The 9-1-1 calls, the blood and the evenings I wanted to end my own life, were all a part of the beautiful outcome today. Do not let the zip code of where I lived for many years fool you. Being with him was the darkest and most terrifying time in my life! It almost cost me mine...
Melissa applying the Natural Earth Pigments and egg yolk mixture to the canvas
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Let The Healing Begin:
I had one opportunity and one opportunity only, I believe, to leave once and for all a few years ago. I remember it so vividly even to this day. The day I chose me. The day I chose to live and take my life back and leave him. I was outside looking up at the stars and I received a message to leave right then no matter what. I had always been a deeply spiritual person, but at that time I had lost all of me. But that didn’t matter -- this message was stronger than me and I did it. I left literally with the clothes on my back and never turned around. He still has all of my belongings! Truth Be Told - I could care less about the materialistic items. I don’t miss a single item. What I do miss is a part of my heart in the form of a small dog named Cassiopeia!!!
Back to the evening that changed my life… That evening I left in an Uber refusing a ride in his limousine. From that moment on, I wasn’t considering how I was going to heal from the trauma, I was panicked over how was I going to live??? Where was I going to live??? How would I eat??? These were just one of many racing thoughts I had. Well today, as a PTSD Survivor from what he did to me, I have a job I love and a career in service to other women exiting divorces and/or toxic relationships. I did it! Typically - the survivors journey starts out really shitty! :) For the first time in my life, I have amazing high vibrating humans, with moral compasses all around me. High integrity people surround me daily. I’m still evolving, learning and growing. I always will be! The difference is I want to be here and experience all of life, versus, contemplating how to exit and end it.
When it was time to start the healing process, my first tool showed up with ease and grace. Then many followed along the way. Prior to holistic practices, Doctors put me on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. Those pills didn’t work, only made me worse, so I had to seek out healing on my own. Some of the magical tools that showed up included Transcendental Meditation, the most amazing books, MUSIC, Hatha Yoga, Ayurvedic meals and beautiful people. One extremely special, the one and only - Andrea Moni! How we met was through synchronistic events, for such a purpose. When she presented the idea of healing through art / painting your pain, it immediately resonated with me. Her gift / talent speaks for itself, but I trusted her with my vulnerability most importantly. Collaborating with her seemed so right!
6.9.19: Collaborating for healing through art
Leading up to the day that Andrea and I would ‘create’, I didn’t feel anything at all. I had said yes to the experience of painting with her weeks prior, but until the actual day, there were no emotions no thoughts no predictions. There were desires in my heart to help others heal and let the art be a vehicle for change, but other than that, I had no other feelings or thoughts of the event. Day One was some sort of an out of body experience. I woke up with mass anxiety, like I had just downed 9 cups of coffee. Then the self judgement and fear rushed over me uncontrollably like a tidal wave. “What if my painting sucks???!!!” “What if this extraordinary artist thinks I’m terrible at art???” “What if I don’t know how to let go and let God (Insert your label Here)???” “What if I’m a failure???” “What if I freeze and don’t know how to paint???” The noises of untruths were deafening and didn’t stop until I saw Andrea. Then the warmest calm feeling took over and all was ok. It was more than ok. We laughed, shared stories, smiled at serendipity and planned. Planned to be a vehicle for service and change. I feel so grateful to be a tiny part of her massive movement! I then painted with ease,using the natural earth pigments . I could feel the release of pain and the healing of the wound. It truly was a magical experience! Even the fall (LOL). Andrea and I were rinsing the canvas in the ocean and I lost a flip flop. All I could do was think about my shoe ending up in the mouth of a dolphin or whale and killing it. I jumped for the shoe, fell and sliced my left foot open. All was so symbolic and the timing DIVINE. With much appreciation for being alive and having the ability to bleed, I walked over to the canvas after retrieving my shoe and painted the bottom of my bleeding foot with white paint and stepped on the art. My bloody foot left the most beautiful statement to me. The colors blended perfectly and all was meant to be. The day ended in such bliss, with so many well wishes for the future and leaving what no longer serves me in the ocean to be cleansed…
And the background is complete! Finished piece to be posted…
Expression of Gratitude:
This step is one of many on my journey. The healing process is long and takes time no matter how hard you attempt to accelerate it. I’m still practicing holistic modalities and very soon will start TMS sessions. It’s a new scientifically backed method for healing depression. With that and the excitement for true love, I’m just like you fighting the good fight!
Thank you Andrea for giving me a platform to witness and to continue my healing. And to *him* - I forgive you and send you LOVE. I truly believe the feminine and masculine are to be on this planet in an act of harmony. I know it’s a tall order, but we can waltz versus slam dance. Being antagonistic never resulted in positive blissful outcomes. We have too many other battles being waged on Mother Earth. Feminine and Masculine energies fighting one another just adds to the war… May you heal, find love again and smile brighter then ever before!